Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5, The Girobabies, Hugh Reed and The Velvet Underpants

St Lukes, Glasgow
Saturday 23rd April, 2022

This is going to be well funky, as you know. Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 are one of my fave Scottish Bands. Have covered the Mustard’s journey for quite some time, have seen and reported on them in countless venues and festivals over the last 10 years. They reached a new peak just before the first lockdown. With the 2nd Album “The DiffiCULT Number 2” It was finally released last May when the shops opened again. It was the first thing that I bought and I have to say that it is fantastic and on constant rotation in The Divine Parlour. The Mustards performing Lindisfarne Festival with Groove Armada was the reason that I snapped up the opportunity to review that festival in September last year and I wasn’t disappointed.

I was thrilled as the Mustard Cannon had been reinvigorated it was funky in a way that reached new levels of Funkyness. They are one of the hardest working bands in Scotland and now that restrictions have been dropped, they are performing at festivals and venues all over Scotland, bringing this amazing cannon of greatness to a new audience and us old fans alike.

And if that wasnae enough co-headlining this musical and dance delight The Girobabies return to The Winged Ox, fronted by local celebrity, successful Musical Podcast Musical producer and founder of YCTR Radio, Lead singer and Lyricist of Hip Hop Legends “Jakyl Trades” Mark McGhee, Joined by his equally talented partner in music and love, Lead singer and Bass player of the Twistettes, founder of the critically acclaimed multimedia art experience. “Minerva Wakes” Jo D’Ark. A power couple leading the post punk, lyrically conscious soul reflections of an Austerity wracked Scotland, essential social commentary with an ever-rotating band of supporting musicians. This is going to be a brilliant boogie.

This will be my first time of experiencing Hugh Reed And The Velvet Underpants too.

Good Time Divine ❤
Yellow Fever. ❤
Laugh Until You No Longer Know What It Is To Hate.
Release your soul.
Determine Your Own Fate.
Lose Your Self Consciousness.
Find Anonymous Awesomeness.
In bottomless Thoughtfulness.
Lose Your Inhibitions.
Forget the distractions.
Take Direct Non Violent Action.
Be Your Own Improvement.
Use Your Illusion.
You are Never Alone.
Anyone Can Happen.
Be the Best That You Can Be..
This Is the Blue Print..
We are the Nuisance.
The Fluent Union Of Amusement.
The Evolution Revolution.
A Symbiosis Of (Un)Conscious And Conscience…
Do Join Us.

Is It Any Wonder That I Am So Excited ❤

The Divine Verdict

Tonight was huge in a relatively small venue. The last time I saw Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 and The Girobabies was at Lindisfarne Festival on a stage that was massive and a venue that was humungous. Not that it phased either. Both bands played a blinder, it was a welcome return to quality live music.

Saint Lukes And The Winged Ox
Apart from loving the name, It is also a venue that I love, Its a double-barrel type of place, The Winged Ox is a lovely bistro, welcoming and always has quality affordable food with tunes and DJs playing. St Lukes is the performance venue that as you can guess was once a church, it still has a few pews and a really tasty church organ, behind the stage, Divine loves churches they always make me feel calm the first time I reviewed The Mustards and The Girobabies here was The Yellow Christmas Party in 2015 and I had a splendid time.

So tonight, the Yellow Faithful congregated at the Mustard Altar for a night crammed with quality entertainment. The night opened with a short set from Colonel John McMustard, a Piper called Craig Weir and a Guitarist called Colin Hunter. who performed three new songs to get the dancefloor warmed up. Playing with the heartstrings of The Yellow Massive with a touching Ode and reflection on Billy Connoly. Closing proceedings with a Ceilidh invoking foot stomper.

And we were off on Good Time Party.

Hugh Reed And The Velvet Underpants.

Ally Wilson Guitar,
Darren Paramsivan Keyboards,
David Irvine Bass,
Tom Docherty drums –
Hugh Reed vocals

To be honest I was nae sure what I would make of this, for some reason I got him mixed up with Captain Hot knives, he’s deffo from Bradford, Hugh Reed is deffo Scottish. Back in the olden days Hugh Reed And The Velvet Underpants supported Blondie on a tour and they are a Rockband with lots of great tales to tell. The Velvet Underpants were a very good band indeed with more than a nod to The Stranglers, especially the Keyboards. Hughs vocal style fits perfectly in this post-punk ensemble. Mr Reed is very much a comedian and an actor who starred in the Jackie Chan movie “12 Zodiacs” Hugh also had a cameo part in Irvin Welsh’s “Trainspotting” as well as a great singer he introduces various different personalities into the mix, with the use of simple stage props. Which to be honest I thought distracted from how genuinely good this band were.

This was Divines’ first Velvet Underpants experience, (Although I do have a purple velvet thong). Aye Hugh Reed has a good thing going on here, the Divine touchpaper has been lit. My favourite moment was when he roused a sing-along with lyrics beamed on to a screen at the back of the stage reading. “I’ve just had my car knicked. I’ve just had my car knicked, I left it for a minute, the keys were in it.” It was really funny.

The Girobabies
The Girobabies frontman and musical entrepreneur, who prior to lockdown had been a trailblazer for Scotlands alternative live music scene, curating and performing at live music events in Scotland, Kelburn Garden Party, Eden, Audio Soup, Knockengoragh & Deoch an Dorus, the festival in Arran in 2016. Have witnessed The Girobabies perform on the iconic Barrowland Ballroom stage twice. So have had ample chance to take in The Girobabies live experience. Even lockdowns and isolation didnae stop him, It inspired the very wonderful and successful YCTR Radio Podcast and channel that offered a lifeline to us all during the pandemic.

Mark McGhee and Bass-playing partner Jo D’Arc are the two mainstays of the Girobabies journey, with an ever-changing ensemble of supporting musicians. Tonight though on electronic treatments and keyboards the very lovely synth wizard Mima Merrow, A guitarist called Mark Stardust who played with the whole of his being delivering one of the best rockstar guitar performances I have ever seen. This guy was on fire. Two drummers called Matt and Colin. Colin Hunter playing one-armed because he had damaged his shoulder a couple of days ago, so Mat was ready to stand in if things got too painful. completing the rhythm section and what an outstanding performance it was. Well earned confidence rippled through the whole band as we were treated to an invigorated rock out that is The Girobabies musical cannon.

With guest appearances from two brilliant beat poets. Ashtronomik and The Empress spitting rhymes to maximum effect. It was a fully engaging hour of Punk Rock brilliance, complete with singalong anthems Equinox and Jeremy Kyle (Fucked My Wife!). The Yellow Massive were giving it Yaldi in the packed St Lukes Church. Reaching fever pitch for the headlining act of the night.

Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5. ❤

And so to the grand finale. Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5, The reason for this big Yellow Spring Bonanza

Colonel John McMustard. Lead Vocals.
Fathom Ross. Glamorous and beautiful Backing Vocals.
Colin Symes. Keyboards.
Craig Ross Drums.
Gary Mortimer. Bass.
With Horn Section
Kirstin McNair
Greg Halbert
Nicola Thorne
MarkDJ5Lang. Electronic Wizardry, Beats and scratches.

The band erupted onto the stage and the Yellow Congregation of Saint Lukes took the Good Time Groove up to fever pitch as the Yellow big band, fronted by Colonel John McMustard went into a crowd-pleasing greatest hits and full rendition of the most recent long player “The DiffiCULT No2” the dance was on and everyone got down with maximum Good Time effect. with a magnificent Dance-Off. It was out of this world further raising the spirits of this festive congregation As I stated earlier, Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 and Divine have had a long journey and have seen them evolve and develop, reaching this new level of performance brilliance. God was beaming a massive Yellow beaming smile in Saint Lukes tonight. With source material as good and well rehearsed as this, each tune goes straight to the funkybone and it did to maximum effect. The Church was bouncing. With a fully appreciative congregation of Yellow devotees. Indeed what a fantastic night.

5 Divine stars ❤

Review: Mark ‘Divine’ Calvert

Photography: Raymond Mondeto O’niell

One thought on “Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5, The Girobabies, Hugh Reed and The Velvet Underpants”

  1. Thanks a lot for the review -I think a spirited, well written and very accurate summation of the night (can’t believe I’m now reviewing the review)

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