Colonel Mustard And the Dijon Five/Supa da And The Kryptonites/Dj Divine. The East Kilkbride Arts Center. Friday 15th April 2016.
Laugh Until You No Longer Know What It Is To Hate.
Release your soul.
Determine Your Own Fate.
Lose Your Self Consciousness.
Find Anonymous Awesomeness.
In bottomless Thoughtfulness.
Lose Your Inhibitions.
Forget the distractions.
Take Direct Non Violent Action.
Be Your Own Improvement.
Use Your Illusion.
You are Never Alone.
Anyone Can Happen.
Be the Best That You Can Be…
This Is the Blue Print
One man’s mission to create art from a vision received in a Shamanic trance, during a ceremony in South America. Divine furthered his insider knowledge of the creative art force that is Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 this weekend. David Blair was my host. The Visionary and Mastermind behind this force for good.The conductor with a master plan. To beam creative positivity with a unique and brilliant orchestra of some the finest musicians in Glasgow.
Divine headed to Croy on the train, with a processing heart of character building proportions, with tunes selected for his debut, Djing for star attractions of rock n roll delight. Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 and Supa Da And the Kryptonites.
The East Kilbride Arts Center is a lovely performance venue, with art house sound system, sound engineers and a performance space with a proper dancefloor. DJ Divine was situated in the cafe with tunes that I played piped into the performance space. Warming up for Supa Da And the Kryptonites, the first act of the evening. A band that Divine has had the pleasure of witnessing from Humble Beginnings at the Audio Soup Equinox Party a couple of years ago.
In the time since I first experienced them, this brilliant band have come a long way. Honing their fusion of Jazz Funk and Lyrical genius of Jay Supa. Supporting vocals from Sarah Knowles. This band have evolved their sound to a dazzling and very entertaining level of professionalism, even to the untrained ear and inhibited of dancers. The sonic brilliance cannae fail to move one. Indeed this was Divines first dance in a while and with a dancefloor perfect for the Divine moves. The funk had me. With an amazing horn section Matt Edwards-Trumpet. Lewis Bennet-Sax, Jon Ginty- Alto Sax. , expert guitar by Murray Boyd and bass played by Conal Mackintosh. On Drums Aaron Coppinger. It sure turned the blues into a golden yellow. the audience lapped it up. Quality performance.
Then DJ Divine was back on the decks, for an hour of dance grooves, warming for the main draw of the evening. This 15 piece Orchestra that comprised of:
Colonel John Thomas McMustard (frontman),
(East Kilbride native Becky Robb [backing vocals] with her Mum and Dad watching proudly in the mezzanine level),
Full Fathom Five (backing vocals),
DJ5, Archduke Mortimer Winthorpe 3rd Marquis of Denmark (guitar),
The Rant (guitar),
Chinley Biggins (bass),
Moonchuck McMungus (sax),
The Inflatable Ginger Party Vortex (keys),
Vanilla Johnson (trombone),
Bobby Snoobins (sax),
La Guapa (trumpet).
That is Colonel Mustard And The Dijon Five. The stage suited tonight’s Yellow Movement Experience and the sell out crowd lapped it all up. It really is a wonderful Rock N Roll cabaret. Tonights Dance off certainly was entertaining. With David Blairs expert break dance moves. And his young contemporary dance prodigy, T Young. Awesomeness personified on a dancefloor suited for purpose. The dance off and amazing choreography is a class act in it self.
Aye it was blinding night. With a Dj set from The Mustards very own DJ5,entertaining . Then it was back on the decks for Divine in the Art House Cafe for some retro classics and audience requests. We kept the groove going until chucking out time with a very satisfied audience indeed. Heading out into a clear and star sparkling night. The 3//4 Moon lighting the path home.
After a very successful gig for all concerned the previous night in East Kilbride. Divine took the opportunity to travel to Inverness with my host for the weekend, one of the principle protagonists of The Yellow Movement, David Blair. The drive up to Inverness was majestic, the highlands of Scotland are an achingly beautiful thing to take in. We took a break mid journey to take in the splendor of snow capped mountains as David Blair collected daffodils to spread among the anticipated audience in Inverness.
My admiration for this brilliant man grew as we talked about the mission statement and how the inspiration for the Yellow Movement, left me inspired to understand a Spiritual brother and like Divine a true Shaman. We share the same animal totems. What an enlightening journey this turned out to be.
The Mad Hatters in Inverness was in complete contrast to the previous nights Art House experience, a thriving and very busy pub with traditional country folk being performed down stairs. Upstairs a band that Divine had reviewed and been wowed by at Summerhall at last years Fringe in Edinburgh. Spring Break. A Hip Hop hybrid that produce a very entertaining show indeed. The small venue was beginning to burst at the seams.
As tonights Yellow ensemble. gathered. To weave the Yellow Magic, Hmm Divine thought, just how are this massive band gonna fit on this small stage.
Colonel John Thomas McMustard, The Dijancer, Full Fathom Five (backing vocals), Archduke Mortimer Winthorpe 3rd Marquis of Denmark (keys), The Rant (guitar), Chinley Biggins (bass), Hamoaglaphonic (drums), Vanilla Johnson (trombone), Bobby Snoobins (sax and birthday girl), Badges McBuffters (Trumpet).
By the time Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 took to the stage, The Mad Hatters was close to bursting point with revelers, Stag and Hen parties and some very drunk Belgian and French initiates into the Yellow experience certainly put this fantastic band through their paces. But win it they did. It was tonights dance-off that unnerved Divine. As The Dijancer, David Blair,bBegan his expert breakdance moves moving to his celebrated head spin. A very drunk obnoxious Hen, pushed our hero over, ruining the routine.But with dynamic professionalism The Dijancer. Opened the floor the Dance Off went off. One particular kilted French Dude, took thesSparkly helmet off of David’s head and proceeded to attempt a head spin. Kilt falling to his waist. Hmm Divine thought, what a little willy.
Divine was getting a lot of attention from Drunk men wanting to hug and kiss him. Presuming I was gay. My eye make up was perfect. It took me back to being in Bradford as a teen. But like water off a ducks back I shrugged it off.
The Mustards worked this challenging gig with professionalism and determined enthusiasm. After the Gig Spring Break took to the decks. We traveled back through the darkness of night. Arriving back at The Yellow Movement HQ at around 5am. Thoroughly exhausted. But what an experience.
A helter skelter slide round the Beatles songbook.
I counted 38 great-sounding performances in a two and half hour show with a 15 minute interval.
Let It Be begins with Paparazzi cameras flashing, girls screaming, and multiple, nostalgic projections from that ‘special’’ decade…
The show takes us from the Cavern Club, through the famous ‘shake your jewelry’ Royal Variety performance to the Shea Stadium ‘happening’ – we see and hear as good a Beatles covers band as you’re likely to encounter. Multiple costume changes, amusingly performed character observations, ‘fab’ harmonies, witty banter – all mixed up with Rickenbackers, Epiphone’s, Les Paul’s, psychedelic Stratocasters,Vox amps, dazzling, realistic lighting and sumptuous, inventive projection montages of each musical/cultural phase – documentary footage, comical 60’s adverts, spoken Beatles quotes, and filtered 60-esque video of the Let It Be band projected onto two retro TV’s, either side of the stage throughout – a feast for eyes and ears.
The first half of the show is a chronology of classic tracks and performances, three or four from each famous gig. We get – I Saw Her Standing There, Twist and Shout, a solo Paul doing Yesterday, and a cacophonous Day Tripper from the Shea Stadium concert.
Then onto the tunes the Beatles never toured, with help from a clever fifth Beatle on keyboards supplying the needed orchestration for the more complex numbers – Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (and reprise)- Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, When I’m 64. The first half ends suitably with A Day In The Life.
Act Two begins with Magical Mystery Tour and some dreamy, gossamer-like bubble projections – we get Strawberry Fields, Penny Lane and All You Need Is Love. Somehow this managed to not be clichéd psychedelia – the look and feel achieved through a contemporary technological lens.
Thereafter the fine musicianship of the Let It Be band comes to the fore – with an acoustic set featuring Blackbird, Here Comes The Sun and In My Life. We effortlessly slide back into electric performance with the perfectly executed Clapton solo on While My Guitar Gently Weeps – the highlight for me, followed by the classic Abbey Road medley from Golden Slumbers to The End.
Two encores pelt out Revolution and Get Back and the show concludes, inevitably with a cathartic outpouring of Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Hey Jude.
Throughout, the band perform the tracks with great skill – guitar lines and harmonies are delivered with aplomb, the backbeat is tight and loud and lead vocals powerful and Beatle-like.
The stagecraft is lovingly realized, costumes are bang-on, and the lights and projections complement the music intelligently and highlight tremendous creativity in multimedia.
The audience – mainly seniors but with many kids and twenty/thirty/forty somethings in the mix – sang, clapped, screamed, danced and waved their phones in the air, and left the auditorium with palpable grins on their faces.
The only downside for me was the absence of performances from Revolver – a personal favourite.
Nevertheless, walking to the car after the show my ten-year old daughter turned to me and said – ‘that was awesome dad’.
If you need a pick-me-up from the cynical, binary machine of modernity – go have a knees-up with Let It Be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Jo D’Arc first came to my attention as the beautiful bass player with the Girobabies, having seen this brilliant band many many times over the years, it was at the ReAct benefit gig in Edinburgh back in January this year. Jo gave a solo performance of experimental art noise. Now this was right up Divine’s street. Hmmm I thought, now this lady has talent. Fast forward to The Barrowland/ Yellowland musical adventure. The Twistettes were the first band on the bill of delights. Joined by her sister Nikki on drums and backing vocals, Jo completed the duo with her bass lead vocals. This sibling couple unleashed a set that had Divine pogoing like he was 19 not 49. Drum’n’ Bass delivered with all the flavors that immediately brought comparisons with Blondie, the Stranglers and The Cramps. Obvious influences performed with Drums and Bass only. Now The Twistettes also draw similarities with The White Stripes. What The White Stripes lack is the true Punk Rock ethic. Oh Aye, The Twistettes gained a loyal fan in Divine that night. Live, they are fucking ace.
When the editor at mission control of The Mumble gave me the joyful task of reviewing The Twistettes new long player I jumped at the chance. What a brilliant work of art it is, the whole album gave me the thrill that I got when I first heard Off The Bone by The Cramps. Jilt To The Jive is immediate ear candy that excites as much as the bands brilliant live performance. Raw Punk Rock Power that will get any party off to a good start. Organic meaty with fantastic vocal performances by Jo. Every track on this Album could be a successful single. I couldn’t give a verdict on the best track. Because the album needs to be heard as a whole. The Twistettes have created the future of popular music. Mark my words, Dark sisters are going to be massive. The album launch is at Stereo in Glasgow on The 23rd Of April. This will be an intimate gig, Divine guarantees a quality night. Come on down and see why I am so enthused by such brilliant muse. the Girobabies will also be performing on the night. the anticipation grows.
1. I Think Not : The opening track of the Twistettes Jump To The Jive hits the listener with a ferocious intensity. A bass line so heavy it is like Audio Amphetamine.. An ode to co dependency and waking up to the realization.
2. On The Radio : Punk Rock Pop An ode to the golden age of wireless. A swinging number with a Cramps Heavy bass line.
3.Unrest Undressed : A chat up line for a possible lover, possibly the most potent and hard hitting ode to flirtation ever.
4. The Line. Rock n Roll magnificence. A boogie number stimulating its audience to waking the fuck up and take control, If not of ones life then of the dancefloor.
5. Broken Angels. An ode to the damaged Shaman, Searching for the answer to heal.
6 Suck It, Fake It : Divine Chooses this. The very first Single to be released off of the long player, as a possible contender for star track. But with tunes as good as this.Its difficult to choose.
7.Lamp Post Light : The closest we are gonna get to a ballad on the album, A sonnet dedicated to finding a suitor in the Light Of The Lamp Post.
8.Turn It Up. : Class
9. Insignificant : Quiet the contrary, this is very significant and another Bass Heavy boogie number.
10. Is this It! : Well it is the final track on the Album and finishes it off in fine form. Just like The album as a whole, It moves one to pogo in the living room
Reviewer : Mark ‘Divine’ Calvert
An interview with Jo D’Arc
The Mumble – So where did you record the album & how long did it takeJo –We recorded in LoFi Studio in Glasgow with Robbie Gunn AKA Sundogs. The studio was great, a load of really nice gear, lots of space and a pretty cool relaxed vibe. We recorded the full album all in one day though so not much time to do any chilling! Robbie was brilliant to work with. i think it really helped that we had a similar outlook on how to approach the album for our sound. No messing about, keep it nice and raw and trying to capture as much of the live noise as possible.The Mumble –Which of the songs are the most important to you personally as a songwriterJo –Ahh, not sure I can answer this! They’re all important in different ways to me. The songs range from being about society, politics, being a woman in society, life, love, sex and friendships. All of these are mega important to me. It was just whatever came out the day i ended up writing that song i suppose!The Mumble – where can you get the album
Jo – You can order either a digital download or physical CD . We’re currently looking into vinyl as well!! The album will be out on 23rd April but you can pre-order here as well so that you will automatically receive your download/CD on release.
We’ll also be selling them at our album launch on 23rd April @ Nice and Sleazy’s where we will be supported by The Girobabies and all our forthcoming gigs this summer.
The Mumble – Does this album mark the end of a chapter, has it encapsulated what the Twistettes are all about for now, or are you already moving onto new material
Jo – I think it encapsulates what we’re all about in general as people. I’d say that’s why we both feel so at home in The Twistettes. Previous bands we have been in have been about trying to sound like this or that’ but with The Twistettes we’re just enjoying making noise together.
We’ve already got the bones of around 6 tunes for the next album. You never know how things are going to turn out but I think it will keep the same essence though some different approaches chucked in there as well. Being sisters we’ve been playing together for so long that we have endless jams and bits of songs to play about with as well as creating new material so its a great time for us rehearsal wise just now. It’s actually a lot of the fun making tunes that were written years ago sound like The Twistettes…which can be amazing, awful, hilarious or some strange place inbetween!
The Mumble – Where will the Twistettes be playing this summer
Jo –So far confirmed is:
23rd April – JILT THE JIVE LAUNCH NIGHT, Nice and Sleazy’s, Glasgow 29th April – Girls On Top Festival, Edinburgh 30th April – Deoch an Dorus Festival, Arran 7th May – Surf Shack, Perth 14th May – Lockerbie Festival, Lockerbie 22nd-25th July – Audiosoup Festival, East Lothian 29th-30th July – Mugstock Festival, Mugdoch Country Park 6th August – Project A Frame Festival, Ayrshire With a load of others in the pipeline TBC as well
The Mumble –what are, for you, the album’s singles – the stand-out songs
Again this is hard but I really like ‘is this it’. I wasn’t sure how that one would work recorded cause its pretty relentless live and sometimes that doesn’t transfer on tape but i was really surprised! I’m also really happy with ‘suck it fake it’ again cause we managed to capture more of its grittiness than i expected. on a different note, I’m also happy with ‘lamppost light’. I naturally have a tendency to write slightly cheesy stuff (melodic I’d say but aye…hehe) and Nicky always usually veto’s them but this one sneaked through! She actually says she quite likes the recorded version which is cool.
Just the regal, expansive beauty of the Usher Hall is enough to set the scene for a glorious night of classical music. The hall was fairly well packed, with people of all ages. Although the majority of the audience were seniors, I was glad to see quite a substantial number of children and young people enjoying the show. The Royal Scottish National Orchestra has an admirable policy on making classical music concerts affordable and accessible by offering heavily reduced rates for young people and the unemployed, and free for children accompanying a paying adult.
Understandably, there were quite a few Russian accents to be heard amongst the audience members, for the composer Alexander Lazarev is one of Russia’s foremost conductors. He graduated with first-class honours from the Moscow Conservatoire and went on to direct and conduct at the Bolshoi Theatre, the BBC Symphony Orchestra, the Royal Scottish National Orchestra amongst so many others around the world. Of course, the whole night belonged to the Russians as well as the Scottish; apart from the both the composers, Rachmaninov and Prokofiev being Russian of course, and then the extraordinarily talented pianist Nikolai Lugansky was on hand to effortlessly conquer Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto No4 (For the Left Hand) for the second piece. It was originally written for, but rejected by the Austrian pianist Paul Wittgenstein who had lost his right hand in World War One. An unusual and complicated piece, it was mastered by Lugansky, who perhaps was drawn to playing it as he himself is left handed. The orchestra had played both Caprice bohemien by Rachmaninov to start, and after the interval, selected movements from Cinderella by Sergei Prokofiev for the whole of the second half.
Lazarev, like all good conductors, had an affectionate and enthusiastic relationship with the members of the orchestra, and his ebullient nature and intensity came across as he bolted on to the stage; wild haired and full of passion to launch the concert with a punchy beginning. Caprice bohemien is structured in three parts, the first being bouncy and lively, with its sea of strings sliding up into the high notes, with fragments of a gypsy dance introduced, and then moving into a slightly disturbing funeral march. The second part expands the previous flute melody and builds to a deep drama from the brass section, punctuated by heavy strings, recalling the gypsy wail. The final section thrilled the audience with its stirring dance melody and then sudden rousing close.
Out of all musical instruments, I have a special love for the piano, but I especially marvelled at Lugansky’s rendition of Piano Concerto No4. It was so confidently handled, he really embodied the word insouciance in his performance. It was an incredibly fast and complicated piece to be played with just one hand. Four movements lasted 25 minutes, but he had you enthralled throughout. Clear and unstoppable; the kind of playing that if you shut your eyes, had you seeing shapes rapidly changing size and colour; black, white and fuschia, in my case! Two moto perpetuo movements; an adante and a scherzo, frame the two middle movements. Lugansky, who has resided in Scotland for twenty years, met with huge applause from his appreciative Edinburgh audience.
The movements selected from the entire ballet of Cinderella lasted the 45 minutes of the second half, and the most dramatic ones were chosen. Generally laid out in chronological order so that you could easily follow along with the storyline of the ballet, it recoiled on itself to conclude with the most dramatic and well known scene of any of the tellings and retellings of the Cinderella story; the midnight hour. Because for most girls growing up in the West, it’s such a beloved scene from a story well entrenched in conscious and unconscious memory, it felt slightly disorienting to have the Midnight movement right at the end. It was thrilling in its drama however, and all the main points of the story had already been lovingly illustrated. Such vividly emotional scenes brought fully to life by music alone made for a night of pure magic.
When I walked in the Dissecting Room of the Summerhall to the ambisonic soundscape of Kraftwerk, & took my seat at a round table in front of 6 pairs of exotic beers, I thought to myself, ‘I fuc£ing love science, me!’ A few moments later Barnsley-born Pete Brown idled onto stage with a bottle of beer in his hand like a good-looking Les Dawson, & cracked on with his investigations into whether music makes beer taster better, & if it does, why? In his pre-amble, he declared he was proud to be in the Summerhall, a homecoming if you will, because it was four years previously that he’d played a bit-part in ‘Sensory Dining,’ from which catalyst his four-year odyssey & investigations into the science behind music & sensorary taste evolved.
Before our glorified beer-tasting session kicked off, we witnessed a man funnier & more confident than most professional comedians off load a wide plethora of interesting information into our minds, from retronasal taste to musical synesthesia. Using excellent VJs & nightclub style lighting, Pete immersed us in his journey, an anecdotal lecture into why beer & music have been pleasant bedfellows since time immemorial. Then we got to the science bit, where Pete made us sip different beers to different songs from his personal collection.
To Goose Island’s Urban Wheat he attached Neil Young’s ‘Harvest Moon,’ while the 8.5 percent Duvel got The Pixies ‘Debaser.‘ When he explained that the Joy Division’s dark, brooding & oily album, Unknown Pleasures, was recorded only a stone’s throw from the brewers of the equally dark, brooding & oily Old Tom in Stockport, I thought for a moment there might be something in it. But by the end of it all, after tossing us into a shipwreck barrel of conflicting opinions & subjectivity, Pete admitted that the whole things was ‘remarkably inconsistent.‘ So science, perhaps not, or at least not yet, but getting drunk & listening to decent tunes while trying out tasty new beers is always a winning combo!